Day 4: Shadow

So the cool group of 'Marathon Bloggers' have a challenge week named 'A story for every picture,a picture for every story'
Day 4  theme is 'SHADOWS'

Mum n her bub!

Her Shadow

Her Shadow

 my hope and my strength

The one thing that makes me proud

I created it , I nurtured it 

I plaited her shadow hair :)

I pleaded the owner to stay still 

the feisty girl who is already stepping out

from behind my own shadow!

What is your worst fear as a parent?

So I don’t know who all of you readers caught the MTV VMAwards’s Miley Cyrus’s act. I know You’d wonder why I did! I did so accidently as the video went viral on Youtube. And the only reactions were ‘My eyes! My eyes!’  and ‘Poor Parents!’

From then on my nightmares are made of my toddler growing up to idolise one of those. It could be so. Living in a western country, her taste of music is definitely not going to be Bollywood.

Well, speaking of Bollywood, I also saw ‘Shudh Desi Romance’ the other day! What on earth is wrong with this generation? (That is, if that’s what the reality is!) How is getting pregnant, abortion and maintaining live in relationships teaching anything good to a naïve viewer?

Progressive is it? I think not! Women are further more regressive and downright dumb and not ‘modern’ in this movie. I know the movie isn’t preachy and just stating some facts. But frankly, if ever I show my child a movie to state facts, I would show her ‘Vicky Donor’ rather than this one. Every piece of art should have some responsibility, shouldn’t it?  My fear is that my daughter shouldn’t be Gayatri or Raghu too for that matter!

So,yes, when people ask me why I guard my child so much from any kind of media other than ‘Disney Junior’, I now show them the Miley Cyrus video.

One weird one I got the other day was that she eloped and married a Chinese guy. No, I had no problem with that.’ Why did she have to run? ‘,I asked my husband. (He has already certified me a case for the shrink!)

Stories of missing children and those ending up in human trafficking are also nightmarish. 

Now, as the wise men say that we should just try and do our best to teach them things to stay out of trouble as far as possible.

I try to teach the child her address and phone numbers. She tells it sometime and sometimes she just misses a number or two. It is anyway too much to ask of a 3 year old to remember a 10 digit number.

Obviously, I fear things that haven’t happened and God forbid shouldn’t happen! But am I the only one who is anxious and overthinks things? 

Little Baker and Me

I always knew there is no better way to introduce Science to the child other than baking. Its the best way there is. Also I am by no means, good at baking. Initially I thought I will put her in a toddler class for baking. :P There was one too but so darn expensive. So I decided to teach her while learning with her while  having some mommy-daughter quality fun. The toddler goes to a kindergarten every other day in the week. So the baking happens on the filler days.

Solids turning into liquids. Liquids turning into solids by mere whisking. It amazes at-least my toddler to total attention.
We started out with the simplest of the baking there is. Meringue Mountains. I read out the ingredients to her and she brought them out from the storage. It helps that I am always talking about what I cook. Right from when she was a teeny tiny baby in her bouncer. That is the only way to cook and entertain a baby at the same time. She can identify most of the kitchen basics as a result of that.

Meringues are made with just egg whites and sugar. The trickiest part is separating egg yolks from the whites. So I got her a separator. She can now break an egg without making a mess most of the types.
I let her whisk the egg whites for as long as its fun for her. Beating an egg white manually is no small feat. It takes up a lot of muscle. But she loves it. She knows that the transparent whites have to turn into white gooey peaks. Obviously, mommy takes turns to give it a fast whisk in between to help.

She loves mixing in sugar into the peaks spoon by spoon. She can measure out a cup or half cup of sugar easily.
Here is her first attempt at Meringue Mountains:

Next we moved on to a basic sponge cake. This actually easier than the meringue in procedure but has more ingredients. We follow a 'mix-everything-in-one-bowl' recipe for kids. She has the freedom to put which ever ingredient first or last. She always picks out the vanilla essence first :) She puts butter,eggs,flour,baking powder and sugar and whisking them till she has tired out. She moves on to grease the cake pan. She loves this as it is the messier part of the process. :)
She also gets to lick the bowl latter (for which she has competition from mum too)

Here is her sponge cake with a basic butter frosting:

We learn together stuff like flour has protein called Gluten which binds and builds the cake. Baking powder creates Carbon Dioxide to help air the batter. Actually, I learn all this and parrot it to the toddler. Obviously , she doesnt really care as long as she can mess around a bit. :D

Whats most important is that it is fun and yummy. Daddy is the happiest to eat desserts every once in a week. Mommy is happy that the child learns somethings and spends energy in a constructive way and not plonked in front of the TV or alone.

Lessons from Motherhood so far!

Things I learned from my experience so far as a mother of a 2 and a half year old. Mind you, I love being a mother more than any other role I have ever had the opportunity to take up. But then it’s also the most difficult job ever, isn’t it?

• You cannot resign. Once signed in, you are in it for life.
• You cannot yell
• You cannot spank
• You cannot complain
• You learn to eat while someone poops in the same room, sometimes within 1 meter distance.
• You and spouse can talk about poop consistency and the milestones achieved for potty training with as much interest as some big sensational news.
• You learn to stay without sleep for days together sometimes.
• You lean PATIENCE is after all the biggest virtue.
• You don’t get embarrassed when the toddler throws a tantrum in the supermarket. Instead you stare back at irate people.
• There is no personal space not even in the toilet.
• You smell like puke but you learn to live without a shower for a few more hours, till the sick child is soothed.
• You talk and understand a whole new language!
• Sleeping in on a weekend?! Ha! You learn that getting up early in the morning is actually, beneficial to you 
• You learn various new recipes to cook even if you hated to even get inside the kitchen before.
• You learn to multitask. A baby in one hand and a phone in other and pick up a poky toy from the ground with the ease of a gymnast
• You can never ever see your spouse as anything but the father of your children. 
• You now love group hugs and no bear hugs for you and the spouse.
• Gadgets banned at home, can be your best friend in confined long haul air journeys
• Speaking of Air journeys, if a co-passenger wants to play with the child, forget about the stranger phobia you have and enjoy the little break!
• Your house suddenly turns into a baby shop with all myriad, colourful toys and you should love it.
• Learn to walk around and over all the toys without stamping one. It’s an art!
• A messy house shows that there are people living in it and having fun, not that it’s unclean!
• It’s ok to look a mess too sometimes. Everything is forgiven for a new mother. But its stretching it too far if you are so even after 2 years postpartum :P
• You get mommy brains along with the baby. So keep tab of everything lest you forget. (You probably might forget to keep tab too!) Invest in a milk boiler.
• Wearing dupattas help! Emergency blankets, emergency mouth wipes and emergency messy food cleaners! All-In-One. I had to use one and throw it in the bins once! Sigh!
• Your walls are a huge canvas full of toddler art! Admire them!
• You start to talk to every mommy in the neighborhood on whose shoulder a baby hangs! You wouldn’t care whether she is your type or not! Play Dates are at higher priority!
• Never ever take ‘I don’t like you, mamma’ sometimes with an ‘ever ever ever’ seriously, for your own sanity. Just remember the ‘I vov you,mumma’s
• Friends, who stuck by you after you became a mother, are the real ones. Stick to them!
• You are the one to sacrifice everything and still be happy about it. They don’t get to see TV, so even you can’t. No movies for them. None for you too. It’s all for the future goodness.
• You learn to control the urge to kill anyone who makes a noise during naptime to wake up the baby. Its ok. It happens! Urgh!
• Take any and every babysitting offer up. Don’t think twice. Especially if it is from grandparents
• All the good that the child does, it is attributed to his good nature and both the parents. All bad that the child does directly points to a bad mother.
• Sleeping through the night is an event that calls for a big party. Enjoy it till the next growth spurt or a growing tooth or a nightmare hits you.
• The more expensive the toy is, lesser is the time and attention it gets from the tiny owner.
• You can be a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM), Working Mother, Working at home mother (WAHM), you will be judged on something that you are neglecting!
• When you tell her the princess stories at bed time, you don’t imagine that she will start acting like a princess and ask you to bow down to all her demands, soon.

Do tell me if you agree with and have learned the same things as a mother. Obviously, there are more lessons to learn. Do share your lessons that you got from your children.

Finally I end this with my favorite quotes these days:

“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” ~Milton Berle

“The hand that rocks the cradle usually is attached to someone who isn’t getting enough sleep.”~ John Fiebig

(From a prayer for her daughter): “…And should she choose to be a mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.”~ Tina Fey (from “Bossypants“)

Gadget Friendly Bachchans!

So here I am trying my level best to harp my tiny little harpoon about how less than 2 year olds shouldn't be exposed to technology and blah,blah! - I read this by none other than Amitabh Bachchan:

"Aaradhya turns on the iPad to her favorite nursery rhythms programme all by herself... picks up remotes wherever she can see one and points it to the TV in a pretense to put it on," Amitabh wrote on his blog.
"What a fantastic generation of our world and what a pity we shall never be there to see it evolve into a world that shall be governed and controlled by little kids and their deep accumen at the cyber," added the 70-year-old veteran.

Sigh! I cant beat that! I guess mine will be the only kid in this generation who doesnt know how to operate an IPad or tune in to her own favorite program! Poor deprived girl of mine :D

How I get some Me time with a toddler around!

Let me give you some background here:

I have a 2 year old high-spirited toddler ( Yes! I put it very mildly as I am the creator of the monster)
I have no nanny.
I have no cooks.
I have no drivers.
I have a maid who thinks giving my house more than 15 minutes a day is waste of her time!
I have the daddy who tries but is away for 12 hours a day and conveniently home only during the toddler sleeping hours.
I have my parents a stone's throw away who are my lifesavers! They love the monster :)
I am doing a distance edu thingie just for the heck of it!
I also take up random assignments to write.
I take up any book review that comes my way. I dont just read books , I devour them.
I give interviews for full time job as a profession currently!

OK now for the free time we like to call Me time! Where should I find that? Most moms like me are from same background as me. They' ll tell you its the most elusive time to have. And once in a blue moon, when you do find that time, you are bound to feel guilty of neglecting something or other in the house or the baby or the daddy!

But then for the sanity of the 'homemaker' as I am fancily called these days, I laid down the rules. I put down schedules. I stick to them. I stay a little sane.

I have toned down my expectations with the toddler to stay sane. Like:

• Dont expect to get any 'Me' time as long as the toddler is awake. I get lucky to read an article or a blog post here and there while she is awake but thats whats it limited to.
• 15 minutes per activity is the maximum time the toddler will play alone. Dont fight it. Its a lost battle, already.
• Dont ever blame the child for the lack of Me time. She doesnt understand it. Period.

So here is how I get my 'Me' time :

• Nap times and Sleep times are set: So 1 hour in the afternoon and after bedtime at 8 PM.
• I do not do any house chores during these times. Nothing. None. I wont even pick up a napkin and put it back in place. 
• I let toddler join into all my chores in the afternoon after nap activity time for her. I clean , she cleans. I dust, she dusts. I cook, she cooks. 
• Heres a cheat- I read, she reads. I read a novel while she is given a set of 5 baby books. It lasts a glorious 15 odd minutes.

Now my 'Me' times doesnot include the time for me to study or write these blog posts or even the little assignments I get. Thats the tricky part. I call it work. I treat it like work. Thats not Me time.
So these eat into a large chunk or whole of the nap time. At night, I spend some time with the Daddy , our only time with no toddler jumping in between for attention. We bond over dinner and an episode of Grey's Anatomy!
Sleep takes over me at around 11Pm. So where is the Me time? :D
I wake up early. Way too early. Sometimes 5ish or maximum by 5.30AM. So that golden slot between 5 till the time the toddler wakes up i.e 6 or 6.30AM is my real,real elusive Me time :)

What do I do during this time? Nothing much . Water my plants. Read the paper. Read a book. Or just lie down and laze on the dewan. Or do some yoga. Sometimes I even talk to myself. :D Nope I am not crazy, not just as yet.

Project52- Week 3- GenNext!

Picture the following scenarios:

Scenario 1: Kindergarten

Boy Hugs all girls he finds around him and gives them a big kiss on the cheek. The mother gushes that he is going to be a heart-breaker. She even buys him a Tee saying so.

Scenario 2:  A Party with relatives.

An adult asks a 2 year old boy " How many girlfriends do you have?" and pat comes a reply , " So many many many" with hands held wide open! Oh the parents are proud or what!

Scenario 3: Campus Ganesha Mandal Performance

Age Group: 5 to 10 year girls performing to a mix of 'Sheila', 'Halkat Jawani' and 'Fevicol se'/

The gyrations aped exactly as the heroines do,to the last pelvic thrust and flat chests heaving comically.

Scenario 4: 10 Year old girl's Birthday Party 

The Birthday girl is wearing black pantyhose and makeup consisting of a  red lipstick. So I wont have to say more.

Scenario 5: 15 year old girl's party at home

All the girls are giggling in a corner. Nothing unusual. They are turn by turn talking on a phone. Nothing unusual there too. I ask whats so funny simply unable to contain my curiosity. The answer stuns me. They were talking to a cousin of the birthday girl whom they saw in pictures and found cute and sexy. They were flirting with him. He, on the other hand, was shell shocked and was unable to react.

 These is my last one week in shock. What is it about today's generation that's so disturbing? Where are things going wrong?

First 2 scenarios are cute on imagining a 2-3 year old pudgy boy saying or doing things as mentioned. But isnt that a foundation being set in these young boy minds that girls are meant to be 'Girlfriends' and they need to be all huggy-kissy with them. I know I might be over-reacting here. :|

The next 2 scenarios are also disturbingly common these days. No wonder 'Tweens' are as confusing and difficult as Teens. I can easily blame the parents here. Pantyhose? No 10 year old can go and buy one for herself. Can she?

The last scenario was hilarious. I think that's how all 15 year old girls are .  I remember having my share of curshes on cousins too. But did I call them and flirt with them.Hmm. Okay there were no mobile phones then  and landlines too costly for us to be allowed to use.

These are just ponderings that just stuck to my mind the last week. I have no conclusion to make on them. Just the thought randomly goes back to these scenes sometimes and I wonder what is wrong there!

T is for Throat Infection and TerribleTwos

 T for me is for the double whammy that has hit me.. Throat Infection which has almost rendered me speechless and a toddler in Terrible Twos who doesnt stop getting into trouble.

T is for Tiring is what I feel Today! Still the Toddler has no way of understanding what mommy is feeling. So she is her usual self and that is a lot to handle.

T is for Television which I thought will help me distracting the Toddler. But the toddler doesn't see T.V that much , so after 10 minutes its back to 'Mommy Lets Do Something'

T is for Temperature which I have got. Not a good sign as I have a whole big day to go before daddy gets home.

This quote is So true currently :
"A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.”-Jerry Seinfield

Do visit other  such post on ABC Wednesday

HiTech Toddlers- My Article on Parentous.com

Does your toddler know the gadgets better than you ?

Does your Tween use twitter or facebook account for fun?

Here is my view on the technology invading into young world too soon:

Do read and comment on the site:

Hitech Toddlers

Dont be Shanaya!

Dear Daughter,

I saw a movie called 'Student of the year' yesterday . I wish I didn't need too. It is a Karan Johar movie. So I was sort of obligated to see it,somehow.

It is a movie I'll show you when you are about Thirteen. I think it tells all about what you shouldn't be as a girl through the protagonist Heroine Shanaya.

Shanaya is shown to be about 16 or 17 at max in the movie. She is filthy rich and knows her designer labels alright. She has a boyfriend tag . Her only example of intelligence is shown when she says she doesnt want to become an cheerleader but again for all sorts of wrong reasons.

She does pass an IQ test but I donot know how. She shouldnt be having so much time to study as she is busy juggling between two men and worried about true love!

She is just 16 and is already doing what a man asks her to do. She is ready to quit the coveted competition to be the Student of the year for a man/boy. Sacrificing Typical Indian Lady despite all the expensive tags like 'Luis Vuitton','Jimmy Choo','Versace',etc; shows the modern and not so modern Girl who has got everything.

Her true love just has to say, ' Tum itni bhi bewkoof nahi ho jitni dikti ho' and she decides to marry him and do what else? What else is required,man?

This was 2012. Not 1990. Still the leading lady in Indian Cinema is just a bimbo. Not in chiffon sarees but in designer foreign brands that 90% of India cannot afford. I bet when you are 13, ie in 2023 also , Karan Johar still will make a movie exactly in the same way with the same kind of heroine. Movies will hardly progress.

But we can learn from them . They teach you what not to be. Its just that we should realise it early enough to go spend 200 bucks on such movies and come back and Say 'No No Shanaya, Shanaya' in us!

Mommy

P.S Dear Karan Johar, I know you will only make feel good movies and not black ones .. Why should you? But even those can do without projecting heroines as dumb bimbos!

Books that got special loving by the Two year old

I didn't do it consciously . I always thought I wanted her to read some books once in a while between playing with toys and with friends. But she is a total bookworm. She will prefer a book over everything and anything. It isnt for the lack of choice. We have spoiled her with too many toys too. But it is the  book rack that is the only space which is never ignored any day.

First thing the toddler does as soon as she gets up is to go and get a book to "chakko" (read in Telugu) for "Duddu" time ( Milk in Hindi) . And invariably, she picks one of the following 10 books and I have them by heart now. Wake me up in my sleep at 3AM and I'll repeat the books to the minutest of the details. She will too. She memorized all these books by 18months while I took some more time.

Here is the list of 7 books I am sure wont fail with any baby. I started these books at the age of one and they are still a hit with her.

1) Dr.Suess's ABC Book

What a cool way to remember the letters and words starting with them. It isnt the boring A for apple and B for Ball . Its Auntie Annie's Alligator A..A..A . How about "Painting Pink Pyjamas,Policemen in a Pail,Peter's Pepper's Puppy and Now Pappa in a Pail" for P.
It is the most addictive way of saying the alphabets. I see a Camel on the Ceiling , Do you?





2) My Big Animal Book

Which baby doesnt like a moo moo cow or a bow wow doggy? Especially if the kid's dad takes them to the zoo more often then the neighborhood park.
The two year old collects soft toy figurines of animals and obviously animal books
But this book by Roger Priddy is the book she can spend hours with. Each picture is worth 25 odd toddler words ( Thousand in Adult version). Each animal has a story behind it and its fascinating to hear about a raccoon and difference between a cheetah and a leopard. (Here the ignorant mummy shamefully admits to have thought they are the same).

3)Fluffy Chicks and Friends by

This was the first book bought by me for my baby. I never really get to buy many things as things are gifted before I think about it :|
She has this from about 3 months of age and its been eaten more than read. She loves to touch and feel but with more things than her hands. She also uses it sometimes as a cushion to sit on.
Again it has the familiar farm animals of which the hero is the 'Moo Moo Cow'. She absolutely goes ga-ga over the animal to the point of screaming at one when she actually sees one. I pity the one animal who bore the brunt of too much excitement once. The cow didnt know what hit her , poor thing!




4) Spot looks at Opposites

Now this book is one amongst a series of books by Eric Hill. But the toddler doesnt even touch the other ones. The 'Doggy' book is what she calls it.
This book particularly doesnt get many words out of her. This is one of her 'alone time' books.






5)Are you my Mother?

This one is my favorite book to read out to the toddler. No, not just because it features me, the mother :D It is a book which actually teaches a lot to toddler. it teaches about relations,animals and transportations too. DumpTruck or the 'Snort' is her favorite though.
Each time we read this book I ask her 'Where's your mumma?' and she would turn around faster than a lightening and hug me. The first time she did it,she was about 15 months old. I cried so much that day that she was petrified into not doing it again for a couple of weeks.Sigh!



6) Mr.Brown can moo, Can you?

Now if you have sounds to repeat like 'Moo-Moo, Buzz Buzz Klopp-Klopp,Pop Pop, Dibble Dibble, cockadoodledoo' wont you have fun?

It is hillarious to hear us really. Most of us who have heard me or baba or granny read it with the toddler is almost always in tears with laughter.

One has to actually read it with a toddler to understand that because it is very hard to make noises like that! Splattt!



7) 366 words in Bangalore

I got this book for free when I bought somethings off a baby site named babyoye.com. I am slightly biased towards well established foreign authors as far as the toddler is concerned.I am ashamed of being so but thats how it is.
This is my first 'desi' toddler book and I love it.Now I am on the look out for more good Indian kid books. The book tells about festivals and pujas and places in Bengaluru but almost similar to rest of India too.
It helps to teach the child about festivals like Dussehra and Diwali.
Also, the toddler now knows all her planets because she saw some in this book and mommy had to elaborate and tell her all about the Solar System. I know! Tad too early for these things,na? But it sounds really cute when I hear her say 'Muuucccui' ( for Mercury).

There are many more books in the list. But I'll tell you about them in another post. Now is time for mommy to go actually read some books herself and go 'chikki jo jo' (sleep) before the monster gets up.
Have fun and do tell me some books you'd recommend for a 2 year old?

Making Forts and Narak Chaturdashi

The Great Maratha Chatrapathi Shivaji had a great influence on Mahastrian culture and festivities. When I think of Maratha Kingdom, I think of the various fabulous forts spread across Maharastra.
During Diwali, models emulating these forts are made at home using mud, cardboard and various other household stuff. Its so much fun!

This time as the toddler is 2 and can understand a little about crafts, the hubby decided to start the tradition of making a model fort at home. The toddler thoroughly enjoyed scrapping through bits and paper and loved the final product. Though it is a tough task now to let the fort last atleast a day before the toddler invasion. Daddy defenses arent that strong!

Toddler and the fort

Final Fort

Vevi's Fort. The Sand is sprinkled with mustard seeds and water. Hoping for some green soon :)

What do you do on Choti Diwali?

Cleaning weekend and the Toddler

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.


 All brooms out. All cleaning solutions out. Hair oiled and pulled back in a bun and I was ready for the mother of all cleaning.

Diwali is going to be here!

I am no spic n span types. I have a two year old. I feel she is loosing out on something if she doesnt mess. I let her pull out and spatter all her crayons. I let her take out all the blocks in the living room sometimes. She'll also put each one of her flash cards in places her mommy cant help but be surprised about. She is a child and I am letting her be a child.

Ok OK I know I have to teach her discipline and cleanliness too. She does have to cleanup before she goes to bed. Thats a fun game we play 1 hour to bedtime. We even have a song.
                  "Cleanup! Cleanup! Lets do the Cleanup fast!
                   Speedup !Speedup! Or the bedbug will sleep first"

Its a song which is always WIP. We keep changing the rhythm and tunes and sometimes add more words too.

But this weekend we are having fun cleaning up too. The toddler has got her on broom and cleaning rags to clean whatever she wants. That messes up more than it cleans but its fun!

A broom given to a toddler is always disaster waiting to happen. I just turned my back for a second and she decided to clean up under the potted plants. It sure gets dirty under them,na. One powerful swig and then a loud noise. I turned back and looked at her so angry and looked at all the mud in the balcony which I just mopped. I wanted to scream at her.I wanted to cry. I just looked at her.

She looked at me and then the pot. And suddenly Her laughter broke the silence. She squealed and started jumping saying 'Vevi Dhadaam Mukka, Vevi strong'!

Vevi is surely strong and the mukka aka plant surely bore the brunt. I swallowed my anger and just told her not to do it again as the plants will be hurt and get 'Ouch!'. She then proceeded to try and put cream to the fallen plant as it got 'Ouch'. The plant got a good dose of Cetaphil before mommy intervened. She helped me re-plant and clean up the mess a little before strutting away to find some more mischief to do.

Sigh! I am glad I don't take my cleaning too seriously and I am proud of the patience levels that I thought I didn't have previously. We make a lot of mess but we also make a lot of memories :)

Therefore We are trying to invite Goddess Lakshmi to a fun and clean home which gets sometimes messy :D She has surely been a mother of toddlers too. She should know how it is!

Happy Diwali to all of you and Happy Cleaning too..Have loads of fun while cleaning!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

Parenting Pinkness!

It isnt a passing phase.. Parenting! Life Long Commitment. To top  it up if its a girl the pink frills and satin sashes come with a lot of worries! I am not being a sexist. Its the society thats been this way which scares me. Heres my post about parenting a girl on Parentous.com talking more about it


Continue reading →

Motherhood: A Song For Life

Motherhood is a journey that lasts till your last breathe. Maybe even beyond in the afterlife.
Its a song you learn as you go. Initailly , we hum the music, missing a few lyrics..then we memorize the lyrics as we go and later on, somewhere along the way understand the meaning of the lyrics.

I became a mother long after my baby was born. I didnt relate to the pink wailing baby with long limbs instantly. Though I fell in love with her instantly but not as a mother. I went through a traumatic delivery and recovery. I was in the hospital for 10 days after Vevina was born. I was so tired and in so much pain. All I wanted to do was sleep. But I  had a little hungry baby to  be fed. I wasnt ready. I didnt want to. I had enough pain to last me a while. Breastfeeding also caused pain, was a rude shock to me. It took me all my
being not to hate the little one  for causing all the  pain.

I was recorded at 104 Degree Celicius for straight 4 days and nights. It wouldnt come down. As it happens, with such temperatures,  I was delirious at times. I remember telling my husband once to tell people on the roads to stop moving. He didnt know what to  make of it. It was the temperature talking but then it surely must have been scary for him.

The baby born 3.15 Kgs, lost weight and came down to a measly 1.8Kgs  in those 4 days. I wasnt feeding or wasnt able to feed. She wasn't taking enough supplementary formula.

I came around with a heavy dose of antibiotics on the 5th day. But even on the good day, I had a temperature of 100 Degree Celicius. On the 5th Day,  I remember seeing the girl and not recognizing her at all. She was born pink and healthy. Now she looked yellow and sick. I hated myself for it. I brought her into this world. She didnt have a choice in that. Now out, she was left alone by  me.

That day I decided, she will be my Priority No. 1 from then on. She would be fed on time. She would get her heartful. She will get whatever she wanted on time. There would be no compromise as far as she was concerned.

In the next 5 days, I recovered a bit and the baby weighed a good 2.8kgs on her 13th day. It was the birth of a mother on the 5th Day that my daughter was born . A  proud mother :)

Now when Vevina is 2 years old,sitting next to me and asking me 'Where's the Dino,  mommy?' , I remember the little frail 5 day old her and shiver. Never again. She will never again feel  like that again.
If the  mother in me can help it. Amen.


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Mourning the death of a friendship

I never had a break up . I have never have experienced death . Touchwood. So in this sense my soul is intact , not broken into pieces. Was. I am broken now. I have now broken up with my friend. Not just any friend. She was my Ron Weasley or Christina Yang. Christina Yang is more like it. For the past 3 years, I have been chasing the relationship beyond my own capacity. I have been juggling. But juggling is only good for entertainment. I have heard that once you turn a mother, the non-mommy besties desert you. I never knew it ll happen. True, I have been preoccupied to worry or be concerned or offer an ear to listen to non-mommy issues. Obviously, now I can see the triviality in the issues that I couldn't see previously too. The balancing act is no easy job. I call whenever the baby is sleeping and try and catch up online. But yes, I have been lax. I have my entire energy and attention taken up by the litte one. I have no idea what went in her life for the past 3 years. Good or bad. I didnt have time to ask. When I call, I expected her to pour away. But she didnt. She moved on. I didnt . When I visited her home, I thought I'll feel home but no. It was strange to me as her. I sit cordially. I eat with silverware. I ask to use the restroom and I want to go away soon. But I want her to meet my kid. It was important. I needed my daughter to know that such person existed in my life and was important. Atleast she came and met my daughter. I have got my peace. I dont know the other end of the feelings. I want to know. But for now I am giving myself a closure. Emotionally, my mind is already crowded. But I already know that I dont want it to happen. I am reachable. All the means to contact me are open I am open. I have never had a breakup. I wish I dont have one. I hope to reverse this one at some point of my time.

The Idiot Box and Baby Einsteins dont rhyme!

Have you visited a house without a T.V ? Recently ? Nope . Every single home that I have visited,consider it naturally essential part of the home.
The first TV came to our house the year I was born. A black and white Dyonara.Huge big box. Then came a small tiny Binatone,also black and white. Finally,we got our first BPL color TV in 2000. Quite late,so it was a mini festival of sorts. Cable TV came in around 1995 I think. We didnt get an official connection for a while. My brother used to throw a wire across from our antenna to the neighbour's cable connection to catch signal :P We spent more time in the sun trying to perfect the signal than actually seeing some programs.
Our TV Time was limited. Maybe not out of restriction but due to lesser choice. We watched some selected programs for an hour or so throughout the day. 24/7 Channels like Cartoon Network weren't yet introduced.
Our main entertainment for the day used to be playing in the sand in the construction site right outside our house or exploring the shady alleys behind the house or simply playing catch or ball.
Time passed and now we have everything 24/7 for everyone. Anytime you want , you get cartoons. It might have been my dream to have such a channel as a child. But as a mother, its a nightmare. The advantage that my mother had is lost for me. She didnt need to restrict TV Timings for me and be the villian. I have to be.
I come across articles like the following:

No TV for Toddlers

Ban Under 3 watching television

and know that TV is a big green eyed monster I have to save my kid from.

Are we all bad parents ? You maybe feeding the babies brocolis and carrots for lunch (No mean feat!)
but they wont be helping if the baby watches the tube? Is moderation the key? Or is throwing out the idiot
box the solution? Or switching it on only when the child is sleeping,the sign of the ideal parent? Some still have TV in kid's nursery playing the so called educational content all the time the child is awake. The background noise seems to help, they say.

There is a train of thought that says Forbidden Fruit tastes the sweetest. So if we forbid TV completely, the child will be curious and tempted and find ways to watch it any how. Kids are rebels by design. They will find annoying ways to see some telly.

Leaving the toddlers to see as much TV as they want seem to be easy. Most people do it. Cheapest babysitter in the world and takes no leaves and has no tantrums. Taking care of the baby becomes a cakewalk and baby TV does teach a little bit too! Yeye! But then have a look again at the articles mentioned above. Its just not worth it , aint it?

Moderation. The middle ground. I adopted this path. I pick my battles in a war. I could throw the TV out but I would loose a war there. Its a tedious process. I keep tabs, I yell , I restrict. I am the villian who keeps away the wonderful Teletubbies.

After a thorough research ( boring!) of going through all that the channels offer, I chose only one channel to be suitable for the toddler which is CBeeBies by BBC. Sadly, other channels offer stuff like Doraemon and likes, which I hate. So that is banned for my toddler. But come show a picture of Doraemon to her, she will
yell delightfully 'Doaamon'. Playdates. Sigh!

The first program she was introduced is Teletubbies. I recorded one episode of the program and for 6 months , the toddler saw the same everyday for 15 minutes without loosing a bit of enthusiasm. Repetition
means understanding. She wasnt a zombie in front of the TV. She reacted. She knew what to expect . And later on also understood what Lala said.

Now she sees a new episode daily for 30 mins. Sometimes, she also sees bits of some classic animations from Disney and Pixar . But she aint interested yet. She wanders off to her toys after some time.

As far as mine and hubby's TV viewing is concerned , it is a complete NO, while she is around. She sleeps early. So evening is our TV time. It works fine for us.

There is yet that peer pressure to come in. When her friends watch something and discuss, she might feel left out. But that obstacle I' ll deal with when the time comes. Currently I am fine with my Idiot Box arrangement. And I am proud I dont own a single toddler educational CD :D We have books for that. Tonnes of them.

My experience with Bottle-feeding

I tried but I could not breastfeed my baby girl. I tried
for 3 months but it wasn't ever enough for her. She needed formula
to supplement my milk.

There are many benefits to breastmilk that we all know.One of them is not
 being able to calculate how much in ounces the baby is having or should have.

I talk in ounces alright. I was never into Milliliters. I was already too
much into the US BabyCenter to come back into the Indian Metric System( Its a
better system though) .

The baby was suggested formula from Day 2 of her life.The hospital I delivered is
somehow against bottle-feeding. They suggested spoon-feeding.

From whatever little I knew of babies, I knew by reflex, they are built to suck.
So it seemed wrong to feed the baby with a spoon.
So I decided on introducing bottles.

Again. I went the American way for Dr.Brown's.It was supposed to help prevent
 air getting into the baby and causing gas or in other words,colic.The baby's first
bottle was bought by my brother in US.

The baby took on to the bottle easily,actually better than the breast. I felt less of
a mother in a weak moment but I knew doing the best for her, made me a mother
not only breastfeeding.

Next thing to worry about was the water used to mix in the formula and sterilization. I had a choice of
using spring water or mineral water or boiled water. I chose boiled water.

Sterilisation of bottles was a pain. In a day, we used 8 bottles. SO that was a lot
of bottles to wash,clean and boil off.
We started with 2 ounces on demand for the first month. I am a huge believer of
scheduling. So from second month on ,she got a bottle of 3 ounces every 2 hours.
At 6 months,on introducing solids,she herself delayed her bottles and we changed
them to 4 ounces every 4 hours and only one in the night. We gave up the last nightly
feed in the 8th month. After that till 1 and half years , she had a bottle of
6-9 ounces 3 times a day.

I weaned her of the bottles one at at time from the moment she turned 1.
She loved to drink out of a sippy cup or even a normal cup but it was never
 more than 4-6 ounces.

She had her final bottle at 1 year ,8 months. It was a easy transition. I didnt have
 to really do much. Each time she seemed to be ready.

The important thing here was she was being fed well and was gaining weight
well and was healthy. If she would  have held on to the bottles longer, I wouldnt
have minded.But I was happy she did leave them before 2.

How I felt when I had you

Beyond the frilly pinkness..

Dear daughter,
The best thing about the 9 months of pregnancy was guessing whether you'll be a girl or a boy!
We had nicknamed you 'Sher Singh' as you were to be born in 2010 'year of the tiger' and a leo! Yes, we had assumed mostly you'll be a boy for a long period of time. But also we didnt really do the nursery blue or get blue stuff..but when we talked of you we talked of you as a boy.
When the moment finally came, the time you were born..a girl..your father was the happiest, as I guess, he knew you'll always be his little girl who'll favor him over mumma!
I , on the other hand, was a little taken aback. I dont know whether thats the word to use. I had been through a tumultous birthing experience. And the first thought that came to me was this little precious thing will also go through the same ordeal. She will have to go through periods, pms, boys, prejudices ,descrimination and what not! And I wont be able to protect you through any of these!
Dont get me wrong! I ,otherwise loved having you! I was looking forward to all things pink and flowery ( so much more fun than blue!) I knew there wont be a boring moment with you in my life
Life as a woman is not a bed of roses but I think, in retrospect, it is more fulfilling than a man can ever dream his life to be.
After a few hours of daze,I was the proudest mom ever. I looked at you and knew I'll fight through all that life throws at you valiantly until you are ready to do it on your own.
I see my mom and I instantly understand now why I was pampered rotten over my brother. Every girl deserves that. Yes your granny is scolded about her parenting style with me. I didnt learn to cook and clean and keep a household while at mom's. I learned all that after marriage and having my own home. I dont regret not knowing all that before hand.She also knew I would eventually have to manage everything plus a career. I loved how things just came to me and I had a carefree life to decide and be what I wanted to be in life.
That is what I promise you. You live and enjoy life carefree till I have it in me to take care of all your needs.. It ll give you wings to fly independently for the rest of your life :)

Finally, I hope I make you realise that yes life is not easy but its the most exhillarating journey- being a woman.

Love
Mumma

If i get 2 extra hours in the day....

I am a full time mother of a bubbly 15 month old and part time management student and a homemaker. All this with no domestic help. Go figure!
24 hours is never enough to do even half of the chores in my todo list on a normal day! So to get any extra time will be heaven sent!
I'll be selfish enough to say that those 2 hours will be just mine! No I wont be a pativrata naari to give hubby that time.
I'll be a meanie mommy and say i already gave 24 hrs to my little one!
Yes i need to study but drat! Miracle time is never used to study! Please!
My house needs a massive spring cleaning campaign running but that can wait for the next day too.
My 2 hours.... The precious time...
I'll spend thus 2 hours possibly sitting in a sea facing room with a favorite book and a mocktail on a lazyboy and a blank canvas with paints ready! Not reading the book, not sipping the drink not painting but daydreaming! Yup! Thats what i ' ll do!
I know I am not doing anything productive much less creative or helping! But I feel those 2 hours of relaxing and just being, will charge me up enough to conquer the world in the next 24 hours! I'd then be able to say --"Bring it on world shove me the problems and I'll cook up a solution for you :) "