4 year old big girl

So the little baby refuses to be called a baby anymore
She throws a fit everytime I do so.
She is 4 now, now way a baby..Huff!
She tells me a million reasons, she isn't a baby!
'I have no diapers, I eat my own food ( Not!)'
'I sleep on my own, I don't cry at all (Really!)'
And the monologue continues till I give in and say
'You are a big girl' (Not!)
I dont have any reasons to give but you will always be
my little baby.
I will embarrass you constantly in front of your friends
I will fuss over you constantly
I will do everything my mum did that infuriated me to wits end
I will because I cant help being a mother!
Afterall , whats a mother who isnt hovering all over you! :D

Happy Birthday baby! And heres to many many more years of Birthdays and still you will be always my baby!

Day 21 -My lilttle Chatterbox

I love that she is a chatterbox! She is the true Leo who has opinions and choices and stands
by them! But yes I do shut her out sometimes to preserve my sanity as a 24/7 receiver. Here in this picture, I am trying to get the father to stop clicking a picture and take over my place :D

Day 17- Theme Time

They said he died because they wouldn't accept him for who he was...

No one understood him
Everyone ridiculed him 

No one understood him
Everyone mocked him

No one respected him
Everyone trivialized him

No one referred him as her
Everyone thought he was mad to want that

When he died in the silence of night
They realised something.

They said he died because they wouldn't accept for who he was.

Auckland and us – A week on!

Our stories always comprise of a ‘big house’. Everyone would live together in the big house. All the grandparents, uncles, aunts and all the cousins. This is my 2 year old’s own story. She loves people and she wants a big house. Someday but not today. Today we are a small family of three and have to make do with stories and anecdotes from all the extended families across the world.

How much fun would have it been if all my family lived together. Recently, I met a woman who said she came from a joint family of 32 people. Imagine, living with 32 people. One could never get lonely. Well, one would be having privacy problems, totally a different problem. But for the kids in the family, life would be a non-stop picnic. No dearth of attention and no lack of patience and no constant hovering from paranoid parents.

I have never myself been a part of a joint family setup. I was raised in a small cosy setup of 4. But I was an introvert and preferred to be with few known people rather than crowds. But my daughter loves people, any kind. She is will go and greet anyone and everyone. She knows just how to please anyone. 

Recently in a Rhyme Time session in the local city library, she had an animated conversation with a Chinese counterpart. Both were equal participants in the conversation and it went on for a while. The parents, meanwhile could not manage any meaningful dialogue apart from smiles. We had a language barrier. They spoke nothing but Mandarin and I could not make out a single syllable. The toddler did not consider that a huge hurdle. No matter what the language was, she was happy to just interact with and smile at the mandarin speaking cutie. We were all amused as well as bewildered as to how these little ones were not really perturbed by the different languages. The toddler world is so unique and different, I tell you.

The city isn’t yet growing on me. Mainly, maybe, because I am yet to find home. We are still in a hotel and that doesn’t really feel permanent. Unless, we get a home and get into some sort of routine, I don’t think I will get the Auckland feel.

Lets not talk about my apartment searching. Auckland offers very little space for a huge sum, especially if we don’t want to move out of the city central. Its depressing to see tiny little matchboxes called apartments. Hyderabad has really spoiled us in that way. 1BHK sounds too small to us. There is some amount of compromise to be done on our parts before we can finally get a home.

I finally am cooking and cooking Indian. I found some local Asian groceries and I don’t mind that I don’t find my favorite Bhindis here. It’s okay as long as I get my dal and chawal (for now!)

As for socializing, apart from talking to Real Estate agents or local grocers, my social equation is quite bleak. I hope to meet some likeminded people soon J

T is for toys! Mine that is..

I love soft toys! I have a mini collection of those. I sometimes let my  year old play with them but mostly I have them stashed off in my cupboard. But now that I am moving , I know I cannot take them all. Possible none as my child's toys take precedence over mine. Sigh!
My mum will keep my toys for me :D But they wont migrate with me!
Let me show you my favorite ones with special memories attached to them. I took these pictures in the morning when we were trying to decide what to take and what not to take to NZ.

My Softies!

Priscilla

IBMer- first gift by my brother! His first company!

My first ever soft toy! this one is 20 years old

Gifts on my brithday from my BFFs JPRUSS

Gift from my bestie Charu

S is for me! My name!

I have two names one my real name as given by my parents and one I got from my schooling days.

Let me tell you how I got my name from my schooling days. I went to a christian school run by an old American man named John L Dorsey and 6 other christian people. I remember him as a jolly old man who lived down my neighborhood and rode a cycle. I joined the school as a tiny 3 year old and was there till I turned 15.

It was a small school when I joined. A tiny little cozy setup of loving teachers and ayahs. When I was in first class I got a merit certificate for something I dont remember :P That time when I was called upon by Mr.Dorsey , he had difficulty getting my name, So he thought for a moment and he called me 'SiA'.
Thats first two letters from my first name and First Letter from my Surname. I was confused for a moment but I loved the name. I also think I got my first crush that day. He is what a man should be like, I thought.
 I had even decided that day, that when I get married my husband should call me Sia. All this as a 5 year old , mind you! I kept up with my resolution. My husband calls me only Sia. Nobody else really does. I like that . It reminds me of the great old man sometimes.

Here's a picture of him with Mrs.Dorsey.

Isn't he the handsomest!

My Liebster Award! Yippieee!

Meerah and Falak are so kind and generous to have thought of me for this award..Yippiee!  I feel so  so happy! Trust me, I havent had an inkling of good news for a while and this was like oasis for me. Yes the hanging period of life still continues. That also explains the crazy delay of responding to this award. Sowwieee :(

Isnt the prettiest looking award?

Coming to the Liebster Award:
 

Liebster is a German word which means kindest, dearest, beloved, cute, endearing... This award is given to new or promising bloggers who have less than 200 followers.  it is then passed along to other bloggers in the same category.

RULES:

• Tell 11 Random facts about yourself
• Answer the questions the nominator has asked in their post
• Create 11 new questions for the bloggers you nominate
• Nominate 11 bloggers whose blogs you read frequently and who have less than 200 followers.
• Inform the nominee by commenting on one of their posts.
• No tag back

11 Random things about me:

1. I eat like a cow when I am stressed. [ So yes! lately I have put on 5 kgs :( ] 
2. I am an aquarian and hence totally eccentric.
3. I am obsessive about cleanliness lately , more and more as I age.
4. I love reading but I cant read when I am stressed.
5. I have no clue about parenting but doing so since 2 years now :D
6. I have more degrees than I can put to use.
7. I absolutely sucked at Math in school but ended up never opting out of it. I regret taking math all the way till P.G. Still get nightmares about it.
8. I love to do calligraphy and doodling. ( I need to do more posts about these)
9. I still prioritize my mother over anyone else, even my own daughter.
10. I love chocolates,coffee and chats. But not together!
11. 11 is my birthday day!

 11 questions for my nominated bloggers: ( Falak's)

1. If you can get to live a famous person's life for one day, who would it be and why?  Princess Diana. I feel she lived a real challenging life and I always wanted to what royalty feels like. 
2. What has the best blog post you have written (per you) and why do you think so? Wow! I get the bragging rights? I think its a letter to my daughter about how I met her father because its straight from the heart.
3. What is the worst blogging mistake you have done and why do you think so? Never being consistent enough with frequency or topics.
4. 1 book/movie charecter you would love to become for your life? I would love to be Howard Roark from Fountainhead. Go figure!
5. If you get to do just 1 thing for yourself in 2013 what would you do? Go on a vacation alone!
6. What’s the one food you’d wish to eat all the time and never get bored of? do not think about calories Indian Chinese. I can never get bored of it.
7. When you were younger what did you want to become? What are your views about that profession now. I wanted to become a doctor. In retrospection, I would have made a real bad one.
8. What was your favorite fairy-tale as a kid? Why? Do you still like it as much? I loved Cinderalla. I feel it is unrealistic but thats what dreams should be like. Nothing like reality.
9. What is the strangest thing about you? I change my mind every 2 seconds.
10. What is your funniest childhood memory? I once ran away from home. But chickened out in an hour. But the funniest or the saddest part is no one in family realised I ran away until I told them! They thought I was at my friend's place as usual.Grrrr!
11. One person who has influenced you as a blogger. Hmm It would be two : Mad momma and Rohini 

Now for my 11 questions (Meerah's)

1.     What is your fave song? Why? (You can choose to link the YouTube video of it if you love it lots).
2.     Why did you start your blog? Is it still fulfilling the original purpose? I started it on a lark way back in 2009. But I really started doing it with dedication in 2010 after my child was born.
3.     Have you moved to real life friendships with anyone from the blog world? Sadly No. But I want to change that really bad.
4.     What is your greatest achievement in your life? My education. It was a feat for me to get it because I have a real short attention span.
5.     And your greatest regret? Could you have changed it? Nope No regrets! I dont believe in them.
6.     Which is your fave sitcom? And your fave movie? I am currently obsessed with Grey's Anatomy. My fave movie list is really big.
7.     What’s your most fave place to visit? (Even the ones on your wish list) And why? In India, I love Mumbai. Abroad I would love to visit Italy.
8.     If you were invisible for a day, what would you like to do? Oops! Go to the office of the Prime Minister and see what happens there really.
9.     Who is your role model? And why? Mother Teresa. For obvious reasons :)
10.    One thing you cannot live without. My IPod!
11.    What’s your fave day-dream? I dont have a day dream. :(

 11 Nominated Bloggers:( This is difficult. Already the people I know are really famous and have more than 200 followers!) So I am going to do a Part -2 with my set of questions and the nominated 11 :D

Project52-Week6-February! Change and Life Update

Maybe. Possible. or Not. What if? Then what? If not?

Sigh!

This are the questions with various different scenarios running in our mind these days. We are in a limbo. In the dead bang center of a huge crossroad in life. 4 different directions to take and each one has its own merits. But we have no clue.

So we hang some more. Things arent going to be certain for another month or so. Even that is wishful thinking. But otherwise life has to go on. That is the difficult part. One cannot sit huddled up in the corner and sulk till the stuck-in-middle-of-change phase gets over. Especially, since my 2 year old has no clue and she expects things to be normal as usual for her.

I behave erratic under stress. I stop cooking almost completely. Somehow stress and kitchen time are inversely proportional to me . So we are eating out a lot and almost all of it is junk. Those 10 minutes of junk is my stress buster :( Thank God, the toddler is being fed by my mum who lives next door. So atleast she is having healthy.

So People who may or may not care whether I post or how frequently I post, I am sorry I didnt post a while. I will post now but beware the common topic will be "change" and I will be sulky and ranty. More than usual. If that is possible :)

What is the change? One can ask. Legitimate question. But I wish I could answer. Its a top FBI secret..grrr. Thats another thing that irks me.. secrets! I cant keep them for long and I am bursting at the seams. Well! That can probably attribute to the junk food too!

So thats my Project52 rant! :D See you all soon again.

P.S I got Leibster Awards from two lovely people. Muah! I know its a tag and I need to take it up. I remember. I will. Promise.

Why so serious?

It is the holiday time. Everyone is busy partying,shopping,eating out and meeting loved ones. But there is a lingering sadness in the air. Behind every smile is a hesitation.

There are so many things going on around me I fear happiness is now an effort to be consciously made. Smiles are difficult.

Usually in a family gathering, the discussions are always optimistic and carefree. But the last few nights, our family discussions are abysmally disappointing. Above all we are family worried about the little girls we are raising. We are worried about whether the state is going to be split and the bandh that is called yet again in the city.

There is not much enthusiasm to plan our New Year celebrations as Nirbhaya struggles to stay alive. I have tried to forget and live on . But I cant. As she struggles to live, I wonder whether she should live on and face the music. What kind of life is she going to have ? I fear if she is ever going to fully recover and live a life she always dreamed of.

There was an interesting observation my FIL made. The villain of Hindu Mythology 'Raavan' looks a very good man now in retrospection. He never touched Sita ever. He wanted to marry her first. Even in Hindi Movies for a long time, the villian will always call a pandit and try and force the girl to marry him first. A certain level of decency was maintained even in the bad guys. That no longer is seen now. The villains are becoming more and more inhuman. 

Sigh! I cant write beyond this.. I have to go and pretend to be jolly just for the sake of it.

Day 27 Little Sacrifices I make as a mother

It starts from the moment of birth and now it feels as if it will last forever. The mommy in me, never seems the rest of me to enjoy things that I usually would when the kid wasn't born!

Like right now the kid is sleeping cozily in her own cot. I am writing this article in a slightly off mood. Let me give you a little background. I was at a party at my mums an hour ago and everyone decided to watch an horror movie. I tried to make the toddler to sleep in my mum's bedroom but she absolutely refused. She was already past her bedtime by an hour. So I left the party alone with the child and came home. I told the spouse and the rest of the family to enjoy the movie.

So Now everyone is happy except the sulking little mommy writing this little piece here. A good mother wouldn't sulk. She would be happy and proud of keeping her toddler on schedule and not letting her watch the gory horror. The mother in me is happy and satisfied. If I hadn't left the party, the mommy guilt would have killed me from inside while the toddler would have become increasingly cranky and tantrum-my.

Its a simple scenario of choosing between enjoying a movie with family versus ensuring the toddler's routine is maintained for everyone to be happy.

I make a lot of changes to my lifestyle because I like to keep the toddler's life the way it used to be for previous generations. She gets to see no TV, no movies. She also never gets junk food and chocolates. So it becomes very difficult to take her out. The places are restricted to those meant for kids or proper sit down restaurants.

That I am, somehow ,going against the stream, to raise the kid becomes apparent only when there are guests in the house. They need to be taken out and taken to movies and TV is a norm. But when I restrict TV and when one of me or spouse stay behind with the toddler when we book movie tickets, people find it a little weird.

I make separate food for her. I don't feel comfortable making her eat pizzas,Chinese Takeaways or burgers. Though, trust me, she would love them!
I make sure that the toddler is asleep
I surely become a villainous dictator, in the eyes of many. I dont know whether what I do is right or wrong. But I maintain these rules in the house

But these are expected little changes that we mothers make in life and keep making. But there should be some little moments each mom should have for retrospection and  crib about it . So that is what I am doing right now.

Let me crib Please :D and then I will continue to lie down next to a calm sleeping toddler and well, do nothing else.

Day 25 Merry Christmas

Here look at my Christmas Tree

 This is the first time I tried my hand at some basic crafting. I made those snowflakes and the star  and huge 3d snowflake ! The huge snowflake shouldnt be hung as per the orders of the toddler.
This was my first attempt at trying to attract or teach or show the toddler some craft-work. In her own words, 'Mumma, snip snip, Vevi daw daw!'. So when I cut out bits of paper , she would draw on them and then later sing this song and thrown them in the dustbin:
Bits of paper,
Bits of paper;
Lying on the floor,
Lying on the floor;
Make the place untidy,
Make the place untidy;
Pick them up,
Pick them up.

This is the only rhyme that she learned at her playschool that I didn't teach or sing to her before. So it caught on to her like a new pop song! Its her anthem. 

The house is full! I have everybody from my In-laws side visiting and well I am a happy yet tired host.
Yesterday was also the big Christmas Party at the toddler's playschool. She had to be dressed in white and take a 10 Rupee gift along with her. The teacher was very particular about Rs.10! The kids will get boring gifts for sure. But thankfully even empty box in a wrapping paper would make an 2 year old happy! Or at-least mine. She just likes opening presents. She opens and walks away, always, without seeing whats inside the box!

Here's the toddler in Christmas Outfit for her playschool Christmas Party! She made the Santa in her class but she is too busy admiring it herself to show us :)

Merry Christmas to all my Fellow Bloggers!


I am going to an full on gifts post tomorrow! So excited about it :D

Day 23- My 100th Post

This is my 100th Post .. you people !



Then after writing 100 posts, one tends to draw a blank,right! Like Apna Sachin re, 100 100s ho gaye, ab thoda low phase toh hoga na!

So as my celebration gift to myself on the occasion of 100th post, I give myself a break from writing :D

Yippee me. But I cannot go away without thanking the Marathon Bloggers without whom I dont think 100 would have come anytime this year or even in 2013! Love you all People

Day 22 - Bucket List 2013

I will jump right to the point here. :)

1. Buy a house!

2. Get the toddler potty-trained and settled into full time preschool.

3. Join back to full time work.

4. Go to a grocery store alone once at least. ( Yup Never done that! Going to Change :|)

5. Read at-least 1 book a week.

6. Go to Texas to my brother's for a long vacay with the kids.

7. Visit all 7 continents. I have just 3/7.

8. Watch a live concert from front row [ Wouldn't mind if it was ColdPlay!]

9. Go on a vacation without any gadgets (phones,pods,laptops,etc;) to a beach front and just watch the waves.

10.Redo my wedding in a white gown ( This will only happen if I change my husband, he doesn't even agree to it even its just for imagination!)

11.  Participate in a flash mob.

12. See a stripper in a strip club [I almost did, but I chickened out a couple of years back :P]

13. Want to take my husband to the above club with me and see his reactions :P

14. Fire my maid and have energy to do it all! 

 

15. Take the Toddler to Disneyland ( mumma went , no fair that she doesnt get to go)

 

16. Take Spouse to Vegas ( Again wifey went , no fair he doesn't get to go )

17. Get the toddler interested in some form of musical instrument and learn it,eventually.

18. Learn to belly dance ( I have a belly alright! :p)

19. Go at-least on one date night a month with spouse.

20. Learn another language. I have just 6 in my reportoire.

Now that I have made this list. I'll keep editing it as I tick off things done and surely keep adding to my bucket list as I grow. This was fun. Now I am eager to read your bucket list. Tell me. Tell me.

Day 20-If you knew me ..

You would know that I am scared shit of crowds..

You would know that I smile as a defense mechanism..

You would know that I cry when I get too angry. I cannot shout when I want to. ( Really Irks me this one!)

You would know that I am obsessed with watching re-runs of F.R.I.E.N.D.S and HIMYM and Two and a half men.


You would know that I hate cooking or cleaning but I do both better than most I know.

You would know that  I am a bathroom singer and a dancer . ( Dancing part is dangerous, I know!)

You would know that I am a coffee person. Cant go through the day without a cup in the morning.

You would know that I left coffee for 15 months of pregnancy and breastfeeding (Yeh Me!)

You would know that I have arachnophobia.

You would know that I like only perfect fit jeans, no belts for me!

You would know that I am  anti-Mills & Boons kind of romance.

You would know that I always wash all my clothes for two full cycles in the washing machine.

You would know that I love playing Age of Empire and SimCity.

I was going through some article on Oprah.com on how sometimes telling some things about yourselves is therapeutic.I don't know about that but I had fun!

Day 19 Doing the Tag Too

Following Uma and Simran , me doing the meme/tag too. Simply because I have never done one :D

1) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? 
               Not really. I think I am a lazy person. I find holding grudges too tedious a job. :P
2) What is your astrological sign? 
               Aquarius!
3) What’s the last thing you purchased? 
               A chocolate brown color shrug for the winter. I love it . 
4) Did you have a baby blanket? Do you still sleep with it? 
              Yes I did and No I dont. ( Not that screwed up :P)
5) Have you ever tried to cut your own hair? If yes, how’d it work out? 
              Yes I have always have had bangs on my forehead. I always cut them if they get in my way. They stop getting in my way. So Yes, it worked out well.
6) Have you ever sleep-walked? 
             Not really. Lazy person, remember ;)
7) You can only have one of these things: trust or love.
             Trust. I cant love a person I cannot trust.
8) Which of the five senses is most important to you?
            Sight. Seeing is believing.
9) Would you be a more successful painter or singer?
           Singer. I want to stand in a stadium full of people and sing my heart out.
10) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
             This deserves a new post from me but anyways, here are a couple:
              I feel good by James Brown
              What a wonderful world- Louis Armstrong
              Girls just want to have fun

Tag yourself oh marathoners.. thats one day worth post done easy :D


             

Day 16 Few of my Favorite Songs [Regional]

Now here are the songs in the languages I grew up in . Tamil and Telugu. Telugu is my mother tongue and I had a lot of Tamil friends. Some of  songs have been dubbed or redone in Hindi. But I tell you language aint a huge barrier. I hardly know much Tamil but I love the music and the meaning of the lyrics I get from people around me :)
Have a musical Sunday!

1) AR Rehman - (Pachai Nirame-Tamil) (Pachandaname-Telugu)
                        I have to admit I like how the song flows better in Telugu. There is some sort of effort taken to sing the words in Tamil. It is sung by the same singer HariHaran. Especially when he sings about the white color , I like it better in Telugu. But love the music! Absolute Magic!

2)Harris Jayaraj - (Vaseegara-Tamil)
                          This is heard best in Tamil. I think it is redone in all languages possible but none have that magic. Listen to the way Bombay Jayashree sings "Vasegara after the first stanza" , you'll be hooked.But I find the video funny :P

3) AR Rahman- (Rasathi-Tamil) (Seetalu-Telugu)
                        This song uses A Cappella i.e majorly uses human voices instead of instruments. Absolute Magic. I want this ARR back!

4) Illayaraja - ((O Papa Laali-Telugu)
                           The lyrics by Veturi Sundarama Murthy are so nice.

5) Mani Sharma - (Dole Dole-Telugu)
                     I think Telugu film industry is known for its dhinchak songs. The kind heard in all discos and the lyrics are irrelevant and the music is dominant. You cannot help but dance to these tunes. I will not go into this genre with the popular 'Aa ante' and 'Ringa Ringa' "as they dont feature in my playlists. I cant keep dancing always. It ll look weird,na?

6) Mickey J Meyer- (Arrey re -Telugu)
                   This and the title song of the movie Happy Days remind me of my college days. Though the language is a barrier here as I relate to college with aamchi mumbaiyya tapori style language. But the lyrics are very apt.

7) Mickey J Meyer -(Nenu ani -Telugu)
                   Sung really nicely by Shweta Pandit.

8) K. M. Radha Krishnan - (Rama Chakkani Seethaku-Telugu)
                  This is again at its lyrical best.
                   "Erra jaabili cheyi gilli raamudedani adugutunte
                    choodaledani pedavi cheppe cheppalemani kanulu cheppe
                    Nallapoosainaadu devudu nallani raghuramudu
                    raama chakkani seetaki"

9)  Ilaya Raja- (Laali Laali-Telugu)
                  This is a very famous jola pata or lullaby for little ones. Though it is for a boy baby , I love singing the song to my daughter. This is her lullaby . Now she sings it before bed and she is so cute at it. 

10) M.M.Keeravani -(KalikiChilakalaGolikiMaakuMentha-Telugu)

                  I like this song because of the situation. I have seen many of my friends even in the current generation being restricted to visit their parents place. After marriage, mostly in-laws were pretty strict with visiting home in previous generations. My mom faced this a lot. But it disturbs me that it is so even these days.

There are so many more. But these came to my view first in the playlists. Also , I got introduced to regional music pretty later in my life. Initially , I was into English and Hindi majorly. Thats why I may not know many golden era songs. 

Day 14- I was innocent once! :D

Listen to this song by Tracy Chapman



When I first heard this song as a 7 year old from the 89 Grammy Nominations Compilation that my brother bought, I literally imagined that the "baby" in the song was really a baby. So I'd take my doll and sing it as a lullaby to it. My brother, the 15 year old, who knew who the baby in reference was , would snigger in the corner looking at me. But never told me anything because mommy warned him against it .

But that thought and imagination stuck on to me. Years later even when I called my boyfriend later husband 'baby' , I still sing my toddler this Tracy Chapman song as a lullaby. :D She loves it and so do I.

Day 13-These are the few of My Favorite Songs [English]

I am the biggest music buff ever.Debate it if you want. I am always either humming songs or listening to them . I have got bad hearing, I think, thanks to the constant earphones in my ears for most of the non-baby time.These are some of the songs which never ever leave my playlists.

Do you have any of these in your all time favorite ?

1) Bob Dylan (Rolling like a Stone)
           How does it feel ?
           Aw, how does it feel ?
           To be on your own ?
           With no direction home ?
           Like a complete unknown ?
           Like a rolling stone ?

2) Cardigans (Lovefool)
          Love me love me
         say that you love me
         fool me fool me
         go on and fool me
         Love me love me
         I know that you need me
          I can't care about anything but you.

3) Sixpence none the richer -Kiss me

         Kiss me beneath the milky twilight.
         Lead me out on the moonlit floor.
         Lift your open hand.
         Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance,
         silver moon's sparkling.
        So kiss me.

4) Sixpence none the richer -(There she goes) (Orignally by Lee Mavers) 

        There she goes...
        There she goes again
        Chasing down my lane
        And I just can't contain
       This feeling that remains       

5) Ingrid Michaelson- (Keep Breathing)

        The storm is coming but I don't mind.
        People are dying, I close my blinds.
        All that i know is I'm breathing now.
        I want to change the world... instead I sleep.
        I want to believe in more than you and me.
     (This song never fails to make me emotional.. also featured in Grey's Anatomy, indie singers    have the best songs)

6) Snow Patrol- (Chasing Cars)
        If I lay here
        If I just lay here
        Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

7) Tom Petty- (Free Fallin)
            And I'm free, free fallin'  
            Yeah I'm free, free fallin'

8)  Frank and Nancy Sinatra- (Something Stupid)

           I practice every day to find some clever lines to say
           To make the meaning come through
           But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late and I'm alone with you
           The time is right, your perfume fills my head, the stars get red and, oh, the night's so blue
           And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like "I love you"

9) Dirty Dancing- (Time of my life)
           Now with passion in our eyes
           There's no way we could disguise it secretly
           So we take each other's hand
           'Cause we seem to understand the urgency

10) Anastasia-Richard Marx and Donna Lewis- (At The Beginning )
             We were strangers on a crazy adventure
              Never dreaming how our dreams would come true
             Now here we stand unafraid of the future
             At the beginning with you

Yeye this is the most easiest post by far for me and I am going to use music again to come to my rescue :D

Day 11 - Stop the GuiltTrip Stranger!

So yesterday my regular auto-wallah ditched me. So I had to hire an auto to get to the toddler's playschool. After a mandatory round of bargaining and swinging back and forth 10 rupees, we struck a deal for Rs.50 return.

Then he asked me why the school was ending so early. It was just 11.30AM. I replied that the toddler is just 2 and hence goes for 2 hour playschool. He then replied surprised  and asked '2? Does she understand anything ,let alone studies?' . I said she goes to play majorly and she learns to interact with people.

And then, ladies and gentlemen, I was labelled a bad mother. He started his monologue which went as follows:
What madam! You send such small kids to school. You people have too much money. We poor people are so much better than you. We keep the kids close to us (seene se laga kar rakte) till they are atleast 4 and then we think about school. I bet you didn't even feed mother's milk to the child. (Time waste laga hoinga) At 2, the child shouldn't be separated from the mother,madumji.
 'Aisa kya karti aap 2 gante , bachche ko nahin dekha jaaata!' ( What do you do for 2 hours , cant you take care of your kid?) Booty Paalor jaate honge! ( Must be going to Beauty Parlour) , paise jo bahut hain ( because so much money is there) Do you work,madumji? What work is greater than a child?

I was shocked to start with. Then I listened to him and decided not to retort. As a mother, I already had an entire village to answer whether I liked it or not, mostly out of sheer respect to age. I didnt want to lecture a stranger autowallah on what I do the 2 hours I get and whether I breastfed the kid.
There were so many things I could tell him. But I didnt. I knew he was frustrated and mostly because of some financial concerns because for him, me being a bad mom boiled down to the fact that I had money. Sigh!

I wanted to tell him that I wish I could keep her for an hour or two more if possible,sometimes. I only breastfed till she was 3 months. I go off for freelance works for hours together sometimes , talk about separation! By the time she is 4 years old, I plan to put her in full-time school and a possible day care too. I do occasionally visit the parlor and am thinking of becoming a member so that I become regular! Yes! I am the worst mother of the whole world! But why on Earth does it matter to you?

Why ? Why dont I have the right to raise the kid and not feel guilty about each decision I make? It doesn't stop at In-Laws , Relatives , Relatives ka Relatives , what gives an auto-driver the rights to judge me too?

Bah! Happy to rant! Now that it is out of my system, let me go drop the child again to playschool for my 2 hour independence time. I have an appointment with my laundry today. Yeh! Bad mommy, me :D

Day 10- Cuteness Inside

Can you believe we are into the double digit days already! WOW! I made a little sad post yesterday. So to compensate today its all about the cuteness in my life.My babies in order of when they came into my life ! For an otherwise manic Monday.. here's my dose of cuteness to kick start the week.

My First Baby!

She is my latest 2011 model!

Me with my girls! My fav pic.

Concentrating!