Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Mourning the death of a friendship

I never had a break up . I have never have experienced death . Touchwood. So in this sense my soul is intact , not broken into pieces. Was. I am broken now. I have now broken up with my friend. Not just any friend. She was my Ron Weasley or Christina Yang. Christina Yang is more like it. For the past 3 years, I have been chasing the relationship beyond my own capacity. I have been juggling. But juggling is only good for entertainment. I have heard that once you turn a mother, the non-mommy besties desert you. I never knew it ll happen. True, I have been preoccupied to worry or be concerned or offer an ear to listen to non-mommy issues. Obviously, now I can see the triviality in the issues that I couldn't see previously too. The balancing act is no easy job. I call whenever the baby is sleeping and try and catch up online. But yes, I have been lax. I have my entire energy and attention taken up by the litte one. I have no idea what went in her life for the past 3 years. Good or bad. I didnt have time to ask. When I call, I expected her to pour away. But she didnt. She moved on. I didnt . When I visited her home, I thought I'll feel home but no. It was strange to me as her. I sit cordially. I eat with silverware. I ask to use the restroom and I want to go away soon. But I want her to meet my kid. It was important. I needed my daughter to know that such person existed in my life and was important. Atleast she came and met my daughter. I have got my peace. I dont know the other end of the feelings. I want to know. But for now I am giving myself a closure. Emotionally, my mind is already crowded. But I already know that I dont want it to happen. I am reachable. All the means to contact me are open I am open. I have never had a breakup. I wish I dont have one. I hope to reverse this one at some point of my time.

6 comments:

  1. Anonymous7:29 PM

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  2. iam very much able to relate to what you said.. it is very difficult to spend more time on friends while taking care of a baby. We may not have earlier patience to listen to all gossips and discuss about shopping and all, but we are open to share their problems.. we expect them to talk only important things as we wont get enough time. If the other person is also a mother, she may understand, else it is difficult.
    But i hope, your friend will understand soon and surely it will not be death of friendship.

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  3. It is the biggest quandary that moms with non-mommy friends face. But it is important to find common grounds to talk about and keep her involved in your life. After all it is rare to find a Christina Yang or in my case a Robin Scherbatsky. :)

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  4. Do not worry, she will be back. Friends never move on, they take a break:)

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  5. she also must feel the need to adjust to this big life event in your life! I am sure if you keep at it she'll remember what initially brought you together. But, she must also make the effort...do haath se hee taali bajti hain, after all!!

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  6. Thanks all for commenting.

    @Swapna Robin! Wow thats a fun person to be around

    @Mahathi I hope too .. I really hope too.

    @Ghazala Thanks . I hope too

    @Roshni Yes I am waiting. Lets see.

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