Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Mourning the death of a friendship
I never had a break up . I have never have experienced death . Touchwood. So in this sense my soul is intact , not broken into pieces. Was. I am broken now. I have now broken up with my friend. Not just any friend. She was my Ron Weasley or Christina Yang. Christina Yang is more like it. For the past 3 years, I have been chasing the relationship beyond my own capacity. I have been juggling. But juggling is only good for entertainment. I have heard that once you turn a mother, the non-mommy besties desert you. I never knew it ll happen. True, I have been preoccupied to worry or be concerned or offer an ear to listen to non-mommy issues. Obviously, now I can see the triviality in the issues that I couldn't see previously too. The balancing act is no easy job. I call whenever the baby is sleeping and try and catch up online. But yes, I have been lax. I have my entire energy and attention taken up by the litte one. I have no idea what went in her life for the past 3 years. Good or bad. I didnt have time to ask. When I call, I expected her to pour away. But she didnt. She moved on. I didnt . When I visited her home, I thought I'll feel home but no. It was strange to me as her. I sit cordially. I eat with silverware. I ask to use the restroom and I want to go away soon. But I want her to meet my kid. It was important. I needed my daughter to know that such person existed in my life and was important. Atleast she came and met my daughter. I have got my peace. I dont know the other end of the feelings. I want to know. But for now I am giving myself a closure. Emotionally, my mind is already crowded. But I already know that I dont want it to happen. I am reachable. All the means to contact me are open I am open. I have never had a breakup. I wish I dont have one. I hope to reverse this one at some point of my time.
Written By Sirisha