Friday, July 20, 2012

Daddy Dearest

Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad - Anne Geddes

Its difficult being the father.You didn't have the baby in your stomach for 9 months. You did not give birth to the baby. You donot have that intimate connection of breastfeeding. Basically You dont have the privileges that come with being a mother.

You have to make an effort. You have to introduce yourself to the little pink thing. Its even more difficult when the little pink thing is always attached to the mater. If it isnt the mater, its the grandmother. God Bless her to be there to help you. But she thinking of you as a baby,doesnt help much.

Previously, fathers werent even allowed to the labor room during delivery. Actually in India, the pregnant ladies spend most of their late months at their moms and it is usually the mom who assists them in the delivery. The Father is supposed to walk in and feel proud of the baby he created after the baby is washed and clean and presentable.

No wonder there was this disconnect between the fathers and children. The father was the breadwinner. All his gender was supposed to do was to go to work, provide food and boost of a healthy child to others. Sometimes if he comes early from work or on Sundays,take the family to a movie or a park. When the child is older, discipline him/her,tell her to listen to mom and hide behind the newspaper.

Even in this day and age, most dads in India aren't present in the labor room or the during the first few hours of the baby's life.
Even if you sit outside in the Hospital Waiting room and the nurse walks out saying 'Its a girl/boy' and you feel as if you ve won a trophy and gloat. But there you missed and most importantly the child missed the father being there with them. 

Bonding with your baby is a task. You have to be there. You have to give time. Even the babies small and cute, their list of needs are almost endless. Take up one of the needs as Daddy Task. Put her to sleep during a naptime, change her diapers, feed a bottle, give her a bath or read to her. Set this up as a quality regular time with your baby.

Mothers are special by birth. But Fathers become special when they put in an effort. Or they stand at risk of being just the sperm donor who happens to be called "Daddy".

Now take time out for your baby and see the magical relationship form for a lifetime. This relationship, in a way, can be more special that a child shares with his/her mother. That is, because you made an effort to make it so and that matters.


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