Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Feminist-nope I am not!

I was just talking to a relative about this doctor girl who got married to a NRI guy and had to redo her medicine degree ! One would think doing medicine once was tough!
Was she forced into marriage?
Is the guy so worth it?
These questions popped in so easily into my mind but I knew both answers. No, she wasnt at all forced! And the second question is rheotorical.
So she is happy and happily studying now. So where lies my problem? I wonder why couldnt she get the guy to compromise and change. ( We wont talk of the dollar nasha here)
She was destined to mint money in India as a doctor from a top med college. He,well, had a MS degree from some US Univ. Should have decent pay easily too!
Nope, she doesnt tell him to go her way or highway, instead she goes his way! The right way! Sigh!
Then again I think! What did I do? Didnt I leave my job without any second thoughts because my fiance had got a job in some other city. The same job that slated me for a sure shot promotion in a few months!
We are built this way.. Hardwired. We are the ones to compromise.
There's this theory that a woman always wants her man to be more successful, famous than her. Secretly. But she does. I think thats true. If a successful woman marries a lesser successful man..she firstly tries to elevate him as far as possible above her stature or gracefully step back to show him at a higher step.
I know there are examples to state the contrary. But for every example of such, I have regular daily life examples to prove this theory above. Sad? Nope Power. The power to compromise is not a lesser feat.
Having a kid- it the mother 's duty to take care of the child. A elderly person was surprised my husband had a paternity leave! 'Why on earth you need to stay home? No work,kya?', he said. Sigh! In the same breath , he was also alarmed that maternity leave was only for 3 months.
Yes again we might have a debate on breast milk and the importance of mothers. But I didnt say we wouldnt mamage that and work.
Also all due respects to the stay at home fathers. Yes there are quite few. I admire you guys. That shows a bit of equality.
So in the name of feminism, I do things of lesser importance - like keeping my maiden name! Yes in the big picture that is such a little change. But i keep it and bask under my little ray of sunshine.

1 comment:

  1. I admire women who don't compromise because they are expected to do so..but 'coz they want to.I too plan to keep my maiden name intact when i get married...it seems like a small achievement, doesn't it?And for having a husband who understands the same.. *fingers crossed*:)

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