Monday, December 02, 2013

Day 2- She had always wanted a daughter but now…

..that she has one , she feels for her! She is doing what she fought against always-DISCRIMINATION based on her own child's gender.
That she is me. That child is my daughter. That discriminating feeling was the first feeling I got when I first realised I had a girl. Immediately, I thought of the my first eve-teasing experience in Delhi at a tender age of 11, my first periods , my first really embarrassing spotting on a white school uniform, my fight against every man who lears or whistles or catcalls at me at every galli, nukkad and bus-stop and numerous other occasions where I am reminded that I am a girl, just to say the least.
I thought of when I first introduced my boyfriend , on how relatives looked at me as if I was an outlaw.
I thought of how I felt when even after a legal wedding and a hoopla of a marriage,there are still people who raise an eyebrow when they hear of my' love marriage'.
I thought of the 27 hour labor pain I went through to have her and she would some day go through the same! These feelings so strong that they came after I went through the 27 hour ordeal,tell something,dont they?
I didn't want her to have any of those feelings. But I knew I could not stop them from happening. I cannot change the society and not so fast enough.
I did change my feelings of trepidation of raising a daughter and now I raise my child like a human being,period. She being a girl , is just another characteristic . She is many other things. She is beautiful,smart, emotional, stubborn and amazingly straight-forward. She is what I live for and I am proud of being called her mother.
If I ever have the blessing of a second child, I wish for another daughter.

5 comments:

  1. its a double edged sword this one, but yes lets fight it together. hugs

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  2. Applause! I love the ultimate paragraph

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  3. I believe that as long as we bring up our daughters with the clear understanding that being a girl is nothing to be discriminated about even though the world may show you otherwise, they will be able to stand on their own and hold their own. Thankfully they live among our (us mothers) generation where we know the trouble and will work to prevent it from happening to them

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  4. Wow Sirisha.. so absolutely realistic to worry about our own experiences when it comes to our daughters, but then love the way you have brought it all together in the last para.

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  5. So beautifully put. I share the same fear that you have/are going through. Am expecting my first child and when I think of a baby girl, all these things come rushing and freak me out. I don't know how I will protect my little girl from so much!

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Key down what you feel , good or bad :) I love reading it